Single Mothers: The Unintended Consequences

I was unaware that single mothers raising their children could cause a major problem for society.  Then I read a book by Levitt and Dubner, entitled Freakonomics, and more recently a second by Ann Coulter, Guilty.  Both books detail the hidden damage of single mothers on our society. Teen crime

The issue:  Single mothers have often been touted as heroines and, I suspect, some are.  Let’s be clear though. Women that have never been married are at odds with the historical pattern for healthy, stable homes and this deviance is catching up with us here in the USA. While data is scarce, we are learning that the majority of children of a single parent are running away with crime statistics.  1) The strongest predictor of whether a person will end up in prison was that he was raised by a single parent, and 2) 70% of inmates in state detention centers serving long-time sentences were raised by single (never married) moms.

Significance:  Aside from ethical and moral considerations, the additional costs to society are in areas like welfare payments, health care, and incarceration.  Less obvious would be the lost potential of children who are born without the guiding hand of a father.

Past:  The Trend was toward wayward children of single moms before Roe v. Wade, 22 Jan 73.  Then it changed:  for a while.  The most likely person to have an abortion was a girl/woman, unmarried, in her teens, poor, or a combination.   In the 1990s, just when children born after Roe v. Wade reached their teens, the crime rate dropped.  Legalized abortion had led to less crime.

Teen violencePresent:  It’s back again.  A never-married parent is becoming more common in single-parent homes. Between 1970 and 2007, the proportion of children living with a never-married parent increased from 7 percent to 42 percent. A new study from the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s National Center for Health Care Statistics shows that 2007 was a record-setting year when it comes to American births. Not only did we beat out the apex of the baby boom in terms of sheer birthrate, but also we hit a record with births to unwed mothers at a whopping 40 percent. Furthermore, teen pregnancies increased for the second year in a row after a long period of decline throughout the ’90s and early part of this decade.

Current:  Children from single-parent families account for 63 percent of all youth suicides, 70 percent of al teenage pregnancies, 71 percent of adolescent chemical/substance abuse, 80 percent of all prison inmates, and 90 percent of all homeless and runaway children. (Source: Index of Leading Cultural Indicators) An opposing point of view:  probably a reference to Ann Coulter:

“There is one social commentator, all too visible in the media, who is so vile that I make a point of not ever watching her or mentioning her name. I’ve been getting some e-mails about her in the past week. Apparently, she’s been bashing single mothers. Her latest claim, according to the “Living Single” readers who have gotten in touch with me, is that single mothers, together with liberals, are responsible for all of the nation’s ills. I haven’t heard her version and I’m not going to look it up. I’m totally open to other points of view but I don’t want to encourage hateful expressions of them. So regardless of what she actually did say, I thought that readers might like to see my take on single mothers. Here is what I wrote for the Huffington Post on Mother’s Day in 2007.”

This is a female blogger who feels that the single parent is the object of scorn.  And she refuses to check out what is being said.  Understand:  Single moms are not the object here – it is the damage done, for whatever reason, by the teenagers of single moms. So what?  An extensive review of marriage research released in September by the Brookings Institution and Princeton found that children fare best when raised by their married, biological parents. Still, more couples are cohabiting, which tends to be less stable for children.

Thesis.  What I think / feel?  What is the social trend? I come from a generation and a faith believing that the only form of marriage is between one man and one woman.  Further, this is the only arrangement where a child should be brought into the world.  Teenagers having sex, with the girl becoming pregnant, in almost every case will yield one or more of the results described above.  I have helped to raise seven children and am thankful to God that none had to experience any of this trauma.

One observation is, “What we have called our ‘teen pregnancy’ crisis is not really about teenagers. Nor is it really about pregnancy. It is about the decline of marriage.”  I agree with this blogger.  And the trend is international.  I lived in Germany for seven years during the recent past and for reasons unexplained to me, cohabitating couples having a child (almost always, only one), was the norm. I am told that television and the movies reflect our social mores but I am often unsure which is influencing which.

Politics, too, seems to be entering the fray.  The Obama administration is not only in favor of abortion but is installing officers in high HHS government posts that are in favor of abortion on demand.  On the positive side, easy abortions may again reduce teenage crime statistics, but what is it doing to the potential children who could might find a cure for AIDS, or assist humanity by achieving distinction in science, arts, and/or sports? Your call!!

Dr. Bud ColegroveDr.Bud Colegrove has a Ph.D. in Economics and has been teaching with the University of Maryland and other institutions since 1992. From 1974-1992 he worked as an Electrical Engineer with the US Navy and industry. Dr.Bud has recently begun writing for Faith and Facts as well as Whip the Liberals.

EDIT ***********

I am adding a postcript to this post to clarify the postition of Faith and Facts, Dr.Bud, and myself (Bruce).

The purpose of this post is to point out a social problem and encourage the discussion of possible solutions. We do not blame women and certainly do not absolve men for the problems pointed out in this article. The fact is that the nuclear family has changed and husbands are absent too often. The results are usually bad. We think that should change. So, rather than tell us, “Women are not to blame,” or “Men are pigs,” I suggest you provide meaningful actions we can take in our communities, churches, and politics to reverse this ill-effect.

Also, the single mothers we are talking about are not the victims of divorce. Please re-read the article carefully. The high crime stats are related to single mothers that have never been married. Women that have forsaken the traditional model of family with increasingly negative results.

We realize this is a sensitive issue and are not trying to bash women or misstate the problem. We are, however, hoping to foster discussion that helps move our society in a better direction.

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44 replies
  1. app103
    app103 says:

    The real issue isn’t single mothers, or abortion, or anything else you mentioned. The real issue is who is caring for the kids when single mothers go off to work.

    Tossing kids in daycare, where nobody really cares about them is the start of trouble. Then moving them off to school where the teachers don’t care, followed by coming home to a babysitter that doesn’t care or even worse, an empty home where they have to amuse themselves unattended till mom gets home, and when she does get home, she is too tired to be a mom…that is the real issue and cause of the problem with kids being raised by single mothers.

    If you think a piece of paper that says “marriage certificate” on it is some magical thing that makes kids grow up to be well adjusted productive members of society, you have a screw or 2 loose.

    While it does take more than one woman to raise a child, that doesn’t mean that a father is needed, or that a marriage certificate is needed. Poor families with 2 working parents holding down multiple jobs just to keep a roof over the kids heads aren’t fairing any better, even if the parents are married. Their kids are getting in trouble too.

    The problem is nobody cares and the kids are raising themselves.

    The optimal environment to raise kids in, is one in which a person that cares is always around the children, be that a parent, grandparent, or other family member, who was also raised in a similar caring environment.

    Someone needs to be there, and in today’s single parent families, that just isn’t happening. Everyone has to work to make ends meet, including Grandma. Nobody has the luxury of staying home and raising the kids any more.

  2. Matt
    Matt says:

    First, you’re blaming the mothers. What responsibility are the fathers taking in their child’s life, and what percentage of these single mothers have had their partner desert them?
    Secondly, don’t you think the economic circumstances surrounding single parent families might have something to do with these children’s increased propensity to commit crimes? In plain English, not enough money coming in.

  3. Dr.Bruce
    Dr.Bruce says:

    Hi Matt,

    Technically, this article is not blaming mothers but merely pointing out that this is a huge problem that we should address factually and not emotionally. Without question men share the blame. The solution is in a home with a father and a mother.

    Regarding the finances – of course there is too little money but the solution is to fix the real problem, the absence of a father, not throw money at the problem We have tried that with disastrous results.

  4. Dr.Bruce
    Dr.Bruce says:

    We cannot separate these issues like you are trying to do. The definition of marriage, abortion, etc. are absolutely part of the issue. Your ’straw man’ argument about shame marriages and pieces of paper does not help solve nor illuminate the problem Overwhelmingly, families built on the traditional model of a father and mother produce healthier and better adjusted children than other models. It does not mean that single mothers are bad but it does mean that we already know the best model for producing good kids.

  5. Barbara
    Barbara says:

    I have a couple of issues with your logic. First, you say that “we are learning that the majority of children of a single parent are running away with crime statistics.” This is not true. The majority of children of single parents grow up perfectly well adjusted and become productive members of society. The fact that the majority of people in prison, runaways, teen pregnancies, etc. come from single parent homes is very different than saying that the majority of children from single parent homes will grow up to have those problems.

    Second, all of the research that has been done on children of single parents was done during a period of time when the majority of single parents were low-income teenagers, primarily high school dropouts. The demographic has changed greatly now. According to the study you quoted from the CDC, teen pregnancies represent only a small number (I believe it was around 23% but I may be wrong on the number) of the single-parent births. The majority of unwed mothers are in their 20’s and 30’s, many in a very different educational and financial class than their counterparts from 30 years ago. You’re right that the research is scarce, but many believe that when the research becomes available, this will make a difference.

    The biggest problem I have with Ann Coulter’s rantings is that she does place all of the blame on single mothers with no mention of fathers. It takes two people to make a baby and it should take two to raise the child. Unfortunately, our society has decided that at most a man needs to provide a paycheck for any children he fathers and no other involvement is necessary. Too many mothers and fathers seem to believe this and the family courts reinforce it. While she may have a point that children of single parents are at risk for problems later in life, placing the blame on the parent who sticks around and does their best to raise the child is completely off-base.

  6. Ali
    Ali says:

    While I agree with the general premise of your post, there is one class of single mothers that is not a detriment to society. Single mothers who became pregnant while still in high school who overcome their “handicap” and continue in high school are praiseworthy. Young girls who face so many obstacles but overcome them and get their high school diploma don’t belong in the detriment category.

  7. Sarah Fowlan
    Sarah Fowlan says:

    I have never thouhgt about this subject before, according to tha given stats the world is going bad.
    Moving from a poor to a nonpoor neighborhood is facilitated by marrying and by obtaining employment and is impeded by age and home ownership. Even net of numerous controls, African American single mothers are substantially less likely to escape poor neighborhoods and significantly more likely to move into them than their non-Black counterparts. Neither receipt of Aid to Families with Dependent Children nor adult coresidence significantly reduces the likelihood that single mothers will move from a poor to a nonpoor neighborhood.

  8. fresh air free though
    fresh air free though says:

    Wouldn’t this alos be used as an argument FOR abortion? Single mother with child leads to single parent family and more violence. Single mother who decides this is not a good time to have a baby, less violence?

  9. Squavafab
    Squavafab says:

    Hi, Congratulations to the site owner for this marvelous work you’ve done. It has lots of useful and interesting data.

  10. Nessa
    Nessa says:

    This is a very thought provoking post. I am a child of a broken home, my parents divorced before I was 3. My mother worked hard and raised me without welfare or any type of government aid. She did the best she could. But, things would have been so much better if I’d come from a two parent home. I spent my teen years searching for any older male who would love me. I was pregnant and married at 17. I had no idea how to function in a normal family, no concept of husband/wife or mother/father roles. It made the first few married years very challenging. I think not knowing how to be a wife and/or a mother in a relationship with a spouse really put me at a disadvantage. Especially when I married a man who had “Ozzy & Harriet” type parents. We had what could probably be considered a forced marriage, his family pretty much insisted. It is probably the greatest thing that every happened to me. I cannot imagine raising fatherless children, trying to do it all alone, my kids suffering the hardships of single parenting. I love my husband and am so glad we are committed to our kids and to each other. I wish more young couples would really think about giving their kids a family, rather than just letting mom go it alone. This is just my two cents.

  11. Tom Usher
    Tom Usher says:

    Hi Bruce,

    It’s been awhile.

    Hello to Bud now too and to everyone else.

    Well, the name of my site is the Real Liberal Christian Church. For readers here who have never visited (Bruce has and left salient comments; brave and understanding soul), I don’t define “liberal” in a way that applies to this post. If you are curious (I warn you that it is unlike anything else you’ve ever encountered), visit the site and read, “About Our Name.” You’ll find the page linked by that title in the left column.

    Anyway, I want to chime in here to say that if we all can err, why can’t we all be right on at least occasion? It’s wrong of the type of liberals to which this post refers, as in “Whip the Liberals,” to insist that Ann Coulter can never state an actual fact. Well, no one gets the stats exactly right (moving target and subject to interpretation and methodological errors, large and small); but it is undeniable that all other things being equal, it is superior to have a stable family with two, faithful, non-abusive but rather loving, heterosexual parents.

    Why would anyone take exception to that statement if not selfishly to protect false self-image or to just attack the “conservative” blog owner and poster because anything they say has to be wrong?

    I don’t agree with all things Ann Coulter, but she’s not wrong about that narrowly define statement of mine with which she would agree no doubt.

    I am positive that Bruce and Bud are not laying all the blame on the single mothers. To say that they are is to be reading something in that is simply not here.

    Now, whether or not Christians should be advocating that the secular, inherently apostate government should be in the business of coercing people into such relationships is something for another post and comment. You can probably detect my view on that already.

    Peace, love, and truth, brothers and sisters,

    Tom Usher
    Real Liberal Christian Church

  12. All Movies And Trailers
    All Movies And Trailers says:

    I would have to agree with the gist of the article. There are way more single mothers now than decades past and it sure isn’t declining.

    The chances are higher of problems in a broken home, it is just a fact. I have to give kudos though to all the single mothers that do the right thing and work hard at it.

    Great post and fascinating read.

  13. midfielder1234
    midfielder1234 says:

    That is incredibly interesting study. You hear about people who come from a single family possibly having problems but that does not exclude people from families with both parents. I found it interesting though that crime in this factor went down with the decision of Rowe vs Wade.

    I feel this study is not accounting other factors therefor it can not be considering completely legitimate ex. like environment and income. Very good article though.

  14. Tina Fortune
    Tina Fortune says:

    I am a single parent of 3 and the founder of Single Parent Assistance, Resources & Knowledge, Inc. Single(Never Married/Divorced/Widowed) families NEED support from the community, churches, neighborhoods, organizations, corporations and individuals. So often they are seen as “SUPER” people instead of people with individual needs. Typically Single Parent Families occur because of addictions, abuse and adultery. We need the support of others to raise kids with that are happy, healthy, safe and loved. Please consider that the next time you see a single parent.

    Tina Fortune, Founder
    Single Parent Assistance, Resources & Knowledge, Inc.

  15. Dr.Bruce
    Dr.Bruce says:

    HI Tina,

    Thanks for your encouraging words and your important work.

    We do need to help families as you describe. I think we should also be working to reduce the number of Single Parent Families. My experience is that “addictions, abuse and adultery” are not typical, though prevalent. Divorce needs to be more difficult; especially for “compatibility.”

    Also, we must find constructive ways to reduce the ‘never married’ group (the focus of this article).

  16. Tony
    Tony says:

    As long as we continue imagining that we can find a better alternative to God’s provision, we will continue to have problem as a society.
    He who made them in the beginning instituted marriage FIRST and only brought the children into a family that has a mother and resident father. Despite that wonderful arrangement, Cain still turned out to be a problem child.
    How then can we assume we can get a better result with our present definitions of FAMILY!
    1. Resident Mother – No Father (Teenage mothers, divorced mother, etc)
    2. Resident Mother – Absentee Father (
    3. No Mother – No Father (kids living on the street by themselves)
    4. Absentee Mother – Absentee Father (kids being raised by strangers and Cable TV)

    I do not blame the single mothers, neither do I look down on them in anyway. However, we must accept the bitter truth that it is difficult enough raising a child when the two parents are performing their God giving roles as spelt out in Ephisians chapter 5.

    If we forsake God and seek our own ways, we can only expect chaos in return. The moral decadence and violence being experience now is the result of the negligence of the past generations. What shall future generation say about us?

  17. Dominique
    Dominique says:

    Holy Cow! I would say you stepped into a hornet’s nest here. Funny…Larry did the same thing last week on his blog!

    I believe that we have many issues in America that we need to discuss and this is one of them.

    First, we need to stop with the attacks and name calling. That solves nothing and only serves to divide us further. This is about finding a solution, whatever that may be.

    Second, for transparency sake – I was a single parent. I raised my now 25 year-old daughter on my own for most of her life (I was married twice for a total of 3.5 years). Perhaps I can bring something to the table because I have lived both sides of this situation.

    For me personally, whether or not one is a single-mom or not always comes down to one word: CHOICE. Even in divorce where there is violence, we as individuals make the CHOICE to divorce/leave. (and that is a good choice) I think the issue here really goes much deeper than abortion, single-moms, marriage, etc. It comes down to CHOICE and responsibility. It also comes down to convictions. It comes down to you and to me. Individuals.

    I raised a great daughter who now contributes to society and who is now getting ready to have her first child and get married. However, that doesn’t mean that I made the best choices for her or for me. There was a time (short) I had to go on welfare. There was a period when she hit puberty I had to get her some additional help because she was struggling with “no father” issues. There are self-confidence issues that she may not have had to struggle with if she had her father in the picture. Both parents provide different nurturing that is critical to a child’s emotional and psychological well-being. I have witnessed the consequence of my decision not to get married on my daughter. We have had to work doubly hard to overcome those obstacles and I am not convinced that we are completely there yet.

    She now (for the moment – until she gets married) is a single-parent and the many questions and concerns she grapples with are a direct result of her CHOICE to have a child before getting married.

    Now marriage itself brings a host of problems to deal with but again it all comes down to choice. Did we choose a good partner? Did we get married too early? And so forth and so on.

    Life is about choices. Our job is to try and make the best ones we can. It is also our job as parents to teach our children that every decision they make is a choice and with that choice comes responsibility and accountability.

    This post is not about condemnation. It is about each and everyone of us making CHOICES and then dealing with said consequences.

    The problem we are witnessing in the world (I believe) is that we live in a world where there are no wrongs and rights, thus there are no consequences when we make CHOICES.

    However, that is a falsehood. Right will always be right and wrong will always be wrong. Choices will always result with consequences and responsibility, even if we choose to believe otherwise.

    I use to believe single-parents make great parents – better the 2 family kind. But I saw first hand the consequences of my decision on my daughter as she struggled with many issues as a child who did not have a father/know her father.

    If we set aside, for the moment, which family style is best for children (and the stats are pretty clear it is the husband/wife style) and take a look at what one thing got each single-mom into her single state, we can agree it was choices.

    The thing with choice is that you always have to deal with the results of that decision and many of us don’t want to. It is easier to blame someone else than accept our part. And if we find ourselves in a situation that we did not choose, we still have to choose how we will respond.

    So, for all the people who posted here blaming someone else, for me, you missed the point. If you choose to be a single-parent, that is your choice. BUT, you then become responsible for that choice. It is each person’s responsibility to handle the consequences of their choices. I would hazard a guess that if you track the crimes of teens backwards, you will wind up to at a choice.

    This post isn’t about single-moms being “bad” moms. I am a single-mom and I raised a great girl. It is about the fact that many single-parent moms are making choices that allow their child(ren) to end up taking a route of crime.

    It is extremely hard to raise a child by oneself. Especially when they hit the teen years. If they have spent their lives in daycare, friends house, home alone, etc, that has an affect on them as individuals. Again, this isn’t a condemnation. It is fact. As a single-mom, day care is a necessity so you can work. That means someone else is teaching your child life’s lesson. If you have to leave your child at home alone, the tv or play station then become the substitute parent. If we single-parents tell the truth, we cannot do it on our own. We have to get help in order to make it.

    If a single-mother isn’t conscience of the fact that other people have a profound impact on her child, and she is not engaged in passing on her convictions to her child, problems may ensue.

    In addition, Dr. Dobson from Focus on the Family talks about the devastating affects that not having two parents has on a child’s well-being. If the child is a boy, his mother will have a major impact on him, and if the child is a girl, the father plays a pivotal role in her life. Their perceptions of how the world sees them is seen through their parents.

    If a child has not had the nurturing of two parents, and the single-parent has not found a way to fulfill that need, the child will find other ways to fulfill it. According to the stats here, crime appears to be one of the major ways they find that fulfillment.

    Each of us single-parents wants to be a great parent. Our children will probably not end up in the above stats. However, that doesn’t change the fact that many single-parent homes appear to breed children of criminal means.

    So…how do we change that? I say as a society, as individuals, we need to embrace the concept that choices come with responsibility and we must be accountable to ourselves and our children to pass on that message. If we don’t, the above stats are just going to get worse.

  18. Dominique
    Dominique says:

    Mistake – line should read “Their perceptions of how the(y) world sees them is seen through their parents.

  19. Mihaela Lica
    Mihaela Lica says:

    Dr. Bud,

    I see you are getting some passionate feedback here. I think I understand and agree with what you are saying. Perhaps the intorduction was a little unclear and led some people to believe you were blaming all, or most single moms for these statistics.

    I know from reading your other efforts that this is not the case. These situations are mulitfaceted obviously. We all know that single moms more often than not have a touch time of it, alone, trying to make ends meet. I do agree though, that making all single moms into Joan of Arc, which is what some I know what to think of themselves as, is a problem.

    Aside all the semantics, I do not doubt the numbers, or least of all this administration’s “padding” of key positions with super-duper liberals. Our PR news is full each day with instances of key officials headed in some far out direction which should take us all directly where we were headed under other administrations – down.

    Kids have a particularly difficult time, and I disagree with those who put all the “angelic” praise on mothers (or fathers) doing what they should do. Life is about necessity a good deal of the time, and daycare just might be one of those. This is a 50/50 proposition Doc. Whether a single parent family is headed by a mom or a day, each bear a burden of guilt in either not making things work out (either in or out of wedlock).

    A child coming home to a warm, safe, and nourishing environment is what is important. We hear stories all the time about moms that worked two jobs and raised wonderful people. Sports heroes, politicians, business people, and endless parade of success stories. So what is the problem?

    One I can think of, is lazy, crazy, self aggrandizing single parents 8of any persuasion) leaning on anything except their God given ability to work and make things right somehow. True the world is unforgiving, and sometimes events make things seemingly impossible. Where there is a will, there is usually a way. So often, that way is the easy way out, excuses, booze, bad lifestyles, and the end of anger and hurt of what has been “done” to people.

    I do not think any sane person would disagree with your premise with regard to the degredation and decline of society in the US, or anywhere else for that matter. I applaud you for having the courage to at least point out these problems. Even if your message seemed inflamatory to some. Sometimes life is tough, so just take the message, receive the good in it, and go forward and do the best you can.

    Quit whining single parents, and do your job with all your might.

    Thanks sincerely,


  20. Liane
    Liane says:

    I read a book entited “Keep Love Real’. I think it’s very relevant to the topic since it defines how mariieage and relationships of recent times have more probability of failing rather than those in the past (or older times).

    Relationships are very fast-paced (technology to blame?). Kids who gets into a sort of ‘love affair’ gets younger and younger. The times are very liberated that’s. Love gets too much of a personal gratification for most of us rather than to complete the ‘partner’s life’,

    I think this is the reason why many single moms have turned to be what they are now. Very little are keeping a serious perspective about treasuring a relationship and making it ast as they put it ‘a lifetime’.

    Of course, for the single moms, I think they really are heroines.

  21. How I Make $300 a Day Online
    How I Make $300 a Day Online says:

    Hey, great post, very well written. You should post more about this.

  22. SheilaG
    SheilaG says:

    While it is true many single parents are great, and that not all married families are good, it is also true that those who commit heinous crimes are almost entirely from a history of broken families. There are rarely any married parents in the mix.

    I blogged on this a while ago with regards to the murder of 8-year-old Victoria Stafford in Woodstock, Ontario. Everybody in the story–the girl’s parents, the two murderers, even the murderers’ parents, were from divorced or never married families where cohabitation abounded.

    It was tragic.

    Married parents tend to be more stable. It is easier for them to watch the kids. Society has a vested interest in protecting marriage, and we seem to have forgotten that.

  23. Ericka
    Ericka says:

    This is an important and complicated issue. It is a part of a larger social issue and blame is not and should not be a part of the issue. Thanks for writing this well thought out article.

  24. Lynn
    Lynn says:

    This is the post I read to “try out” your blog. Well done. It seems most of us writers need to add at least two cents, if not a nickel. Here’s mine:

    God’s plan worked. Man has either dismissed His plan, or considered it and decided his was better.

    One aspect of this issue that I did not catch in the post or the comments is the effect of ego gratification on reproduction and family. Any woman or man today believes it is perfectly fine to create a single-parent family on purpose. Actresses want a child; they either have one with no father in mind, adopt one, or design one using a surrogate or in vitro. Gay or lesbians want children. They order, adopt or design one.

    Too many children enter homes because the homeowner “wants one.” They don’t give up their day jobs, but they get to play at parenting.

    Society must accept single-parent status as equal to traditional families or the “beautiful” people would lose their followers. That one woman without a means of support could create eight babies to add to the six she had already “ordered” is testimony to the state of our public heart.

    Wild horses have more respect for their offspring than humans. They know how to order the herd in order to protect and raise the foals. Stallions do what they do and the mares are responsible and committed. Not so many humans.

    There will always be single-parent families. But now they are by design.

    Interesting. Will bookmark your site.

  25. JudgeRight
    JudgeRight says:

    The single-parent child is a problem compounded now by the children of those families now reaching the third generation from when the trend started. Further compounding the problem is the media (music+games+movies+etc.,) and gangsta culture now achieving popularity especially among the youth. Another resource you may want to look into is Dr. Warren Farrell. His studies focus on gender roles and cultural value for each gender. In his observations, the men are devalued to the point they are prevented from being part of their children’s lives. Courts support this, culture supports this, and women support this.

    A very special article written by one of those moms who opted to do it on her own brings real clarity to this topic.

    there is more going on here than meets the eye and the issues are so very complex we can’t point to this survey or that survey but need to gather up a host of expert studies from the kind of experts who’ve been inoculated against politically correct attitudes.

  26. Stephen Buck
    Stephen Buck says:

    Your racism is thinly disguised. Decriminalize non-violent offenses and your numbers will trip all over themselves.

  27. Stephen Buck
    Stephen Buck says:

    As a single-parent child, I couldn’t disagree more. My father is a multi-generational mental and physical child abuser, right-wing religious superstitious nut job that thinks he’s a genius and continually makes fun of people and plays tricks on them. I would take any and all the supposed disadvantages I had plus many more to avoid having to have been under this guy’s roof….ever.

    If it weren’t for my mother’s protective measures and personal struggles as a divorced mom back when divorces were rare, I might not have been alive today to proudly report that I’m a liberal militant atheist who supports vast individual freedom of thought and action, and collective safety nets. You people who think that your censorship and dulling the spirit of people somehow makes for better citizens is just downright sick and disgusting. It’s your conservative laws that broke the back of the black family, just like you did with the temperance movement. Hopefully we are now seeing this and are wising up to the totalitarian sham.

  28. Stephanie Cox
    Stephanie Cox says:

    I am very anxious about the upcoming election. When I think about everything that is occuring in Iraq, Afghanistan, and the Middle East (not to mention the U.S. economy) we positively should be looking for a superior leader. I’m not at all convinced that President Obama or any of the Republican contenders so far have the experience or skills it takes to get the job done the way it has to be accomplished. Being president of the U.S. is an remarkably hard job. Do you think there is someone out there with the experience, skill, and moral courage to do the job?

  29. Dan
    Dan says:

    I am dating a single never married mom of three older boys. Her opinion is clearly stated that her children come first. This opinion is embraced by a lot of single mothers. This also is the downfall. In a family especially one where two adults (man and woman) are in cohabitation placing children first undermines the support the man can instill. It effectively neutralizes what could be his beneficial cooperative parenting. The problem is that a lot of these types of mothers want to engage in relationships but are afraid to share the responsibility with the other adult because they feel they owe that to their kids. They try to protect their kids and defend them from the other adult. (In my case, I have two kids of my own who visit. This mother doesn’t see the harm she does when she doesn’t let me co-parent her children with her.) Single moms do not realize or simply refuses to admit that by doing that they are demonstrating negative attitudes to her kids. The kids see and come to believe that they are above other authority figures. They learn that they can get their way and they start interacting with society in the same manner that has been demonstrated in the home. Then the mom wonders why her kids wont listen to her, when she wouldn’t accept the willing and necessarily help to get that desirable result. These children act out. In my situation, I would point out to MOM that they (the kids) have all the benefits of a paying member of the household with absolutely none of the responsibility. Cable TV in their rooms, Unlimited access to anything in the kitchen at any time. Unlimited access to the internet anytime. Pretty much anything they have asked for they receive regardless of attitude, grades or willingness to productively participate in household chores and family involvement. They already get everything and then some. So i suggest to start from scratch and remove these freedoms to get the children back on track That is the only way to get the desired result. Also (*as my situation goes) it does not help to be a paying adult and to be relegated to the status below the children, it is degrading and sends another message to the children that I am not an authority figure, which is totally ass backwards to what should be. The paying adults should be making the decisions, not the kids. The paying adults need to work together, not separately. The Slate should be wiped clean and the kids should be forced to earn their privileges. Many single mothers confuse these things with being a child’s right. Also, if a single mom has a male partner who is more than just a casual fling, then that man should take center stage in saying what goes on along side her, not her kids. Stop catering to the delinquent behavior of children by allowing them to rule and reign above the ones who provide support to them. It gives them unrealistic ideals which once they are turned out into society they are unprepared to deal with. They either re-learn real fast that everything they took for granted is now something they have to work for, or they slide down the slippery slope of despair and become yet another failed statistic.

  30. mojo
    mojo says:

    As a single mother of three boys, I do know i didn’t ask to be a single mother and truly believe i made the choice to have them and i will care for the life i created ( unlike there father) (guess i was the only one who was involved ) Anyway i do know i tried my best to raise them right, However i also know as my oldest was about 10 the government gave the children more rights then the parents and with that how is any single family suppose to raise there children correctly… really parents cant even go into the doctor room with their child (as of age 13 ) if that child dont want you too, but yet who pays that insurances premium every month? And kids can tell the doctor anything and the doctor cant tell you what they talked about.And you say kids are the way they are because of single mother parenting.. well im not so sure about that…

  31. Sharon
    Sharon says:

    I am a single mother. My son is now 11 and in honors. I bought my own home after financially struggling for several years trying to cover the cost of day care so I could go to work to provide for myself and my son.(which nearly put me in debt) Maybe the real benefit of marriage is having a dual income family, because trying to make it on one income today is nearly impossible.
    Out of wed lock pregnancy’s will continue. How about more emotional support, mentoring etc to assist the hard working tax paying contributing mothers who are juggling to do it all alone.
    Those of us that do it well, well, finding a SUITABLE partner is not on the radar as having the time or extra funds for additioanl day care to have time for ourselves is not realistic. (unless of course you’re fortunate to live near family or close friends who understand and are wlling to help)
    My son is a Boy Scout, a caring, responsible boy who lives in a happy stable home, thank you very much.

  32. nikita smith
    nikita smith says:

    Okay, why don’t you compare the USA with other countries around the world to see how well you are all fairing.

    In Canada, Abortions are 100% legal (and the government will pay for low income women to have an abortion)

    We also have the same divorce rate as America.

    AND unlike the USA, Abstinence only education is illegal in our schools (only comprhensive sexual education is taught)

    We have a lower crime rate than the United states.

    (Although, our gun laws also have something to do with that. Here, the laws are stricter. You are not allowed to carry a gun on you. It must be locked, in a case, without ammunition in it, regardless of whether it is a hand gun or a hunting rifle)

    We have a lower teen pregnancy rate then the USA.

    We have a lower STD rate than the USA.

    AND we have a the lowest rate of women performing unsafe abortions in the world.

    The problem has nothing to do with Sex, Abortion, or single mothers.

    It has to do with your government, it’s policies, and how they stigmatize these things as being the ‘proponents of your countries collapse’ when really, getting the religion and ideology out of your politics, and having a government that will be realistic in terms of these issues is what you need.

    Your government tells you that sex, abortion and single motherhood is the problem, but that is only your governments unwillingness to step up and deal with these issues.

    Look at Denmark or Sweden for example. All of these things I have talked about in regards to Canada also applies to many European countries as well, and they also (respectively) have lower crime rates than the USA.

  33. Toni Lovergood
    Toni Lovergood says:

    great issues altogether, you just gained a new reader. What might you suggest about your put up that you simply made a few days ago? Any positive?

  34. David Domincki
    David Domincki says:

    I have to voice my gratitude for your kind-heartedness for persons who have the need for help on this particular niche. Your real dedication to passing the solution all-around ended up being especially beneficial and have all the time helped those like me to arrive at their goals. Your new important facts implies much to me and especially to my office colleagues. Regards; from everyone of us.

  35. Penney Dison
    Penney Dison says:

    The heart of your writing while appearing reasonable at first, did not really settle well with me personally after some time. Someplace within the paragraphs you actually managed to make me a believer but just for a while. I however have a problem with your jumps in assumptions and one might do nicely to help fill in those gaps. In the event that you actually can accomplish that, I will certainly end up being amazed.

  36. David
    David says:

    As I read Bud’s statements, I see one that is at least trying to disguise the facts and is living in denial. He does not want to lay the blame where the blame belongs. The root of the matter is that never married women are a real problem in America.Since most of those unmarried women with children come from 2 parent homes; how did they ever become what they are today?

    The facts are it is all rebelion of the girls and the young men. Where did this rebellion come from? PUBLIC (GOVERNMENT) SCHOOLS.

    The atheist and other anti-Americans have absconded with America’s public schools. They call the horrible teachers (mostly women) Change agents.

    Hillary Clinton used the term “women are agents of change.’ Change: from what to what?
    Change. Do we need it? Change, is it good?
    The answer to both is a resounding no!

    When something is running well do we repair it? What repairs are needed for what is running well? The fact is that the horrible people of the Obama and Hillary ilk want change from good to evil. They are not liberals. The Obama Administration people are leftists. They are progressives (Communists).The change they want is for the worst of society to overule the best of society. The method is to divide the people among themselves. This they have done very artfully.

    Whose fault is it? It is tha fault of all shortsighted people that aid and abett in destroying family in America and asking “Why and Where did Dick and Jane go bad?”

    Look in the mirror folks. It is your own wilful neglegence of your own children that has brought all this about.


    Have no sexual intercourse outside of marriage.
    If he/she is good enough to bed then he/she is good enough to wed. If you would not marry him/her then have nothing to do with him/her.

    Parents, take your children out of the public schools and homeschool them. Be involved with all facets of the education of your children. Be good parents by being involved totally in the lives of your children. Let no one near any of your children alone that is not a direct family member. Forget the two income home. The wife should stay home with the children, while the husband works to support and provide for his family. No adultery allowed.
    Married mothers – the only true mothers- should have groups that promote marriage and family and allow no one, but no one, in such groups that is not a married woman with children. Allow no advice from outsiders and keep social services away and at bay. Keep the government out of your homes and away from your children.


    Government can be easily likened to Satan. Maybe you are an atheist; So what? Still, liken government to Satan. We all know what Satan is whether we believce he exists or not is irrelevant. Government does exist and it is satanic. Government, like satan is always looking for a foothold into your families and homes for the exact purpose of destroying them. The Government school system is a vehicle used by government to destroy the nuclear, wholesome family and has had huge sussess in it. Stay away from Governmment, Period.,

    I could write volumes.
    I am David

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    Single Mothers: The Unintended Consequences…

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